


The One In Vegas

by irlmagicalgirl



Series: So No One Told You [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anniversary, Drinking, F/M, Gambling, James is an infant, James is perplexed by muggle things, Las Vegas AU, Lily is perfect, M/M, Modern AU, Peter is a precious gem of a dumpling, Remus needs to be cuddled, Sirius is REALLY gay, Theyre all 21, Voldemort doesnt exist, but racist wizards and blood prejudice does, intentional wedding, theres still magic of course, unintentional wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 06:36:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6412954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irlmagicalgirl/pseuds/irlmagicalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>...Or the one where James finds out about Las Vegas and makes everyone go for the New Year, there's a misunderstanding, a feud, lots of gambling shenanigans, even more drunken shenanigans, and even more wedding shenanigans. It's a good time.</p><p>Can be read as a stand alone piece/Not required to read other parts of the series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One In Vegas

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by The One In Vegas episode in Friends and Atlantic City in How I Met Your Mother...of course, events, characters, dialogue, and events are all changed to fit the universe and magic, but the influence is still there.
> 
> While this is part of a series, it can be read on its own. The series is a collection of ficlets and one-shots about various modern Marauders (mis)adventures in a blissful, Voldemort-free land.

" _Lily!_ "

"What is it?" she asked appearing in the doorway, her wet hair wrapped up in a towel. James was spending the full winter holiday with Lily's family for the first time since the two had started dating - Sirius, who had been living with James for a few years already by that point, offered to spend the winter with Remus, who generally had lonely winters, and Sirius, for once, did not want to encroach on James and Lily's territory.

James still had not gotten accustomed to the countless muggle devices and customs scattered throughout her home. He had just spent the past twenty minutes fiddling with the television while she was in the shower, only after a good long tutorial on what each button the remote did, and a lecture on _not_ using a wand to attempt to control it - or any other muggle technology for that matter. They were not eager to end up in trouble with the law for using magic to tamper with those kinds of items. The story of the rogue enchanted muggle pocket watch was enough to halt anyone from attempting anything similar.

"Please, tell me everything you know about this place," he said. He had manage to pause the television, though Lily had to show him how to get the picture to start up again.

He seemed to be watching an American sitcom where the characters had found themselves in a flashing, colorful, loud environment. The music was upbeat, and the neon colors were bright against a night setting. Somewhere in the background was the sound of coins spilling out onto each other, unmistakably.

"Oh, that's Las Vegas. It's in Nevada, in America. It's quite famous."

"Is it magic?"

"No...but I suppose a muggle would think it's the closest place to magic you can get."

"And by that you mean...?"

"Well, it's kind of a mecca for gambling, and partying, and drinking, and generally being jovial, I suppose. Well, for adults, at least. You do have to be legal age to enjoy anything they offer. And for American muggles in Nevada, that's 21."

"Perfect."

"And it has enough reputation that it's widely known as _Sin City_. So if that paints you any picture..."

"How do you know so much about it, then?" James questioned her suddenly.

"It's featured in a _lot_ of muggle films and television...and there's a few crime shows I enjoy watching that take place there. Incidentally, a city of sin makes a _lovely_ setting for crime."

"We need to go there."

"I - when? How? It's in _America_."

"Does America not have a Floo network? We could always portkey there."

"Well, in theory, but portkeys only perform so well at long distance...and there aren't any fireplaces over there ready to receive us. I don't know what the closest wizarding community would even be over there, if there is one. We'd probably have to fly."

James chuckled. "Lil, you know I love flying more than anyone else we know, and I'm proud of you for suggesting such a thing, but a flight across the entire Atlantic...it's not so easy."

Lily smiled at him. "A flight in an airplane, love."

The color faded quickly from James' face. "You mean...one of those big metal birds in the sky? Like we saw in the film last night?"

"Yes, exactly like that. But they're safe. I've been loads of times."

"Yeah, well, that's what you said about the Tube. And what happened?"

Lily sighed. "I had to come rescue you when you ended up in France."

"You had to rescue me in France, yes. This is just another Tube _in the air_. How does it even stay in the air without magic?"

You know, science and all. The same way the television picture moves without magic."

James stared at her in awe, as though the word _science_ was the dirtiest thing he had ever heard her say.

"It's really different than broom flight," Lily continued. "Smoother, actually. Well, usually. You're just enclosed, and with other people, and the attendants bring you snacks and things."

"...That sounds pleasant, actually."

"It is, _actually_."

"But the lads need to come, of course, and there's no way I'm getting on one of those monstrosities without Padfoot holding my tender, delicate hand."

"I would not have expected you to. So...you're not letting this go? We're really going to Las Vegas?"

"We have to," James insisted.

"You _do_ realize muggle transportation is not free, though? It's not as simple as apparation. Plane tickets cost money. Sometimes, a lot of money. A flight to Vegas would be a lot of money."

James shrugged. "Just so happens I have a lot of that. Besides, the conversion rate right now is not completely horrible."

James, little as he knew about anything else muggle related, did know enough about muggle money to understand the conversion rates. He had just recently needed to do a conversion in order to go shopping near Lily's house.

"Trust me, I can pay for us. And Pads, disowned as the mangy mongrel is, figured out how to get into his family's account again. They had changed the passwords and all to their vault in him, but turns out his brother, Regulus, is not _quite_ as much of a toe rag as we had all guessed him to be. He's been slipping Pads the password changes, which works as long as he only takes out a bit at a time. He can pay his own way, and I'm sure he'll cover Moony as well. If not, I will, and I can pay your way, and one of us will pay for Wormtail."

"Well, if we are going, I'm sure I can pay my own way," Lily insisted. "I don't need my muggle money so much anymore, but I have a bit stashed away from grandparents and aunts and all sending me some on birthdays and holidays."

"See? Then no problem. We can have Christmas here, and go there for the New Year."

Lily smirked, realizing slowly what Las Vegas might be like with the Marauders set loose there. She shivered at the thought but could not help but feel it was a brilliant idea all the same.

\---

"This is literally the worst thing I have ever seen," James said. "I'm going to die. We're all going to die."

He stood at a window in the airport, looking at the grounded planes rolling around and preparing for their flights.

"It's _incredible_ ," Sirius insisted. He, however, had a certain affinity for flying muggle machines.

"Well, I'm glad I have you, then, Pads."

It was not hard at all to convince everyone to come along for the trip. After James described the wonders of Vegas (with some direction and correction from Lily), they were all set on going. Sirius loved it enough that he was ready to insist that it was his own idea in the first place. Remus was more open to the idea than any of them expected, but he did love to have fun as much as the rest of them. It was the flying they were worried about with him, but he was much calmer about it than James was. He took the time to read a little more about planes, and was much more informed about that _muggle science_ that baffled James so. And Peter, as always, was happy to do what everyone else was doing anyway, though he seemed especially keen to play games and sample all of the food.

Their plane was fairly large for the long ride and everyone was seated in threes. Lily, Peter, and James ended up next to each other near the front of the plane, and Lily let James sit next to the window. Peter was completely content with the aisle seat, not being one to enjoy flight much anyway. James could not yet tell if he was excited about the prospect of a window view (since he loved them on the Hogwarts Express, just as he loved the view from a broomstick) or terrified. He soon decided upon terrified when he realized that Sirius was too far away to hold his hand for take-off. Sirius and Remus had ended up next to each other, but they were in the back-middle of the plane, and James could only _barely_ see the top of Remus' sandy curls if he turned all the way around in his seat, and Sirius was too short to be seen at all.

"Lil, Lily, I can't do this, I need Pads to hold my hand, I'm gunna die, I can't," he said too quickly, refusing to look out the window.

"Love, you'll be _fine_ , I promise. Now, I know Sirius is your security blanket, but do you think you could settle for holding mine? It'll be fine, I promise. It's much safer than Quidditch, I assure you."

"Yeah, but at least I understand the technology of Quidditch," he grumbled, slumping. Lily was sure that he was more grumpy about not having Sirius' comfort than he was about the _technology_ of it all. For the most part, James usually became quickly enamored with muggle technology and had spent a majority of the winter holiday learning about Lily's home and how it operated smoothly without magic.

\---

"How do you think Prongs is doing?" Remus asked, looking out the window of his and Sirius' row.

"He'll be _fine_ ," Sirius laughed. "He's not scared, he just wanted to hold my hand. And who doesn't, honestly?" He stretched out casually on the extra empty seat in their row.

They each buckled up for their take off. Neither had taken a plane before, and Remus in particular was mildly worried about being sick, but he trusted Lily's reassurance. Sirius let him use the window, thinking it would calm him, and he hadn't looked away since sitting down. Sirius was nervous somewhere _deep_ , deep down, he was sure. Maybe somewhere in his foot. But mostly, he had silenced his nerves, determining it just wasn't fair for Lily to be the only one rational. He continued to tell himself that the plane was simply a very large flying motorcycle, and that put him in the best mindset to be a source of comfort.

"Hey, you doing okay?" he asked Remus, who still had not looked away from the window now that they were in the air.

"Mm, yeah, I'm fine, I swear. Just wanted to actually see us get in the air and everything."

"That all?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Sirius smirked. "You _sure_ you aren't bothered at how _badly_ you got embarrassed this weekend?" he asked, referring to the last events that had occurred at Remus' house, just before James and Lily had informed them of their trip.

Remus quickly shot his head away from the window, flushing slightly around his ears. "I _assure_ you, I am _not_ bothered by that."

"No? You aren't bothered that I walked in on you naked?"

Remus blushed darker. " _No._ I'm not. It's not like you don't see me mostly naked once a month anyway," he said. While Animagi had the convenience of transforming seamlessly with their clothing, werewolves did not have such a luxury, and Remus normally stripped ahead of time, if he could manage. In moments like those, though, no one was ever concerned about Remus' bare body, including himself, as much as they were concerned about the upcoming transformation.

"Yeah, but this time was a totally different circumstance," Sirius teased. "You aren't usually singing _Celestina Warbeck_ before a transformation."

"I am _not_ embarrassed by that. You just...took me by surprise, that's all. I've forgotten about it entirely," he said, whether or not it was true. "What about _you_? How are _you_ not embarrassed? _You're_ the one who thought I was trying to seduce you into the _physical act of love_."

"I was _joking_ ," Sirius said, though at the time, there was one instant where he thought, maybe for a moment, that Remus _was_ trying to seduce him into the _physical act of love_ , whether or not it was strings attached. Maybe that's just what 21 year old mates did while spending a holiday together. Or not. He was unsure. His family had left him with a very vague and almost non-existent sense of what "sexuality" was. In fact, he had always been fairly certain that his father was actually gay and having a number of affairs on the side. That was neither here nor there. The fact that _he_ hadn't stopped thinking about walking in on Remus was neither here nor there either. He was simply curious as to whether or not Remus was still thinking about it. And he was sure that _now_ he considered the whole thing a joke. Mostly.

"Mhm, I'm sure you were joking. Is that why you threw your shoes off like you were about to join me?"

"Um, _yeah_ , obviously. Go big with your joke, or don't even bother."

There was a silence between them.

"That's literally not even the worst I've ever been embarrassed," Sirius said.

"So you _were_ embarrassed?" Remus said.

" _Maybe_. But only because I know you were, too."

"Oh, I've been embarrassed _much_ worse," Remus assured him. "You think I'm going to let _Sirius Black_ be the one who has embarrassed me most in my entire life? Please. I'm stronger than that. I'm a bloody _wolf_."

"Yeah, exactly, and there are much bigger ways to be embarrassed than by thinking your best friend dancing around naked is an invitation to something. It didn't even affect me one bit."

They stared at each other straight in the eyes for several moments until Remus finally shouted out, without taking his eyes off of Sirius.

" _No_ , sir, I will _not_ have sex with you in the back of the plane!"

" _Moony, what the hell_?" Sirius whispered. Remus had purposely been exactly loud enough of several people around them to turn their heads and for the nearest flight attendant to shoot them a dirty look.

"I have to embarrass you now," Remus said.

"God, you are merciless. We don't give you enough credit."

"What can I say? I've always been the mastermind among us. Also, I don't believe that attendant will be giving us any more service during this trip."

Sirius shrugged. "That's too bad, I'm going to need a new cup of water soon."

Remus wrinkled his brow. "Why? Yours is completely full."

Sirius took the lid off of his water cup and tossed it onto Remus' lap.

"Don't worry, _sir_ , I would _never_ have sex with a grown man who _pissed_ their _pants._ "

"I will destroy you," Remus promised. He smiled, but his eyes were full of murder.

"Bring it on."

***

"Was that Moony?" James asked. He had started to calm down, and Lily chocked up most of his nerves to dramatics.

"I...think so? What an odd thing to say," Lily replied, trying to turn in her seat. "Unless he really is trying to turn someone down."

"Wait, that was Pads," James said. "Did he...say...what is going on back there?"

"I heard sex and pants pissing," Lily replied.

"Yeah, that's what I heard, too," James said. "Huh. The back of the plane sounds like a party."

"You guys missed it, it looks like Padfoot and Moony are having some sort of domestic back there," Peter said, returning from the bathroom and taking a seat.

"They won't hear the end of it when we land, then," James smirked. "Merlin, I hope Moony actually pissed himself. I would die."

"I'm going to go see if I can get any snacks off the flight attendant," Peter said.

"You know, I'm sure she'll be back by any time," Lily said, but he was already gone. "That boy cannot keep to his seat, can he?"

"Yeah. The last 5 minutes have basically been Pete in a nutshell. Pees a lot, likes snacks, and can't sit still. So...do you want your anniversary present?" he asked, reaching for his carry on.

"You mean this trip _isn't_ the present?"

"Of course not, you paid for your own ticket. It's just the anniversary _location_."

"Okay, then!" she said, hopping in her seat.

James dug through his bag. "Oh, shit."

"What?"

"What would you say if I said I left your present back home?"

"I would say 'Yay! I love the _I forgot the present_ ' fake out!" She smiled genuinely.

"Okay...what about the 'I'm not kidding, I actually forgot the present' _not_ fake out?"

Lily shrugged. "That's okay. I'm just glad you remembered the anniversary at all. Your present is actually back home as well. You can just give me yours when we get back."

"Of _course_ I remembered. How could I _not_ remember our anniversary after how long I tried to be with you?" he asked, although he actually _had_ almost forgotten, and hadn't even originally intended the trip to be for anything other than for the sake of having a trip. He just happened to be fairly horrible at remembering dates and numbers and still needed hundreds of notes just to remember his friends' birthdays, even after having known them as intimately as he had for so long. "Merlin, I'm so sorry I forgot the gift Lily. I might as well have forgotten everything. This is the worst way I could have started our anniversary ever."

Lily squeezed his hand, not concerned in the slightest. "Always one for dramatics, you are."

Peter returned just then (with two bags of peanuts) having just heard the end of their conversation.

"Oh, you told him about Snape then, have you Lily?"

James looked up at him. "Snape? Snivellus Snape? What's he talking about Lil?"

Peter turned bright red. "Oh, _nooo."_ He got up as though he were about to leave somewhere again. "Uh, the loo, lemme just - "

"Pete, sit," James said. "The attendants are going to come strap you down. Now, what did you have to say about Snape?"

He was catching on that it was information that he was not meant to be told, and suddenly, the business concerning the anniversary was placed aside.

Lily took a deep breath. "I...ran into Snape earlier this week. He was on Diagon Alley. And you know we haven't seen each other since we left Hogwarts...we've hardly spoken since - "

"Since he turned out to be a horrible racist and camped outside the Gryffindor Common Room?"

"Ah - yes, since then," Lily said, turning slightly pink. "Well, we saw each other, and he asked me very politely to get a bite of food, and I'm all for second chances...I mean, he didn't deserve one right away, but it's been nearly six years, and...I don't know, I just said yeah. We got a bite to eat. It was nothing, really. The only reason I didn't bring it up is because I knew you'd get mad and blow it up with those dramatics you're so keen on."

James forced his tongue into his cheek. "I - I'm not mad," he said, thought it sounded as though he had to physically bite his tongue in restraint. "I'm not mad."

"R-really?" Lily stammered.

"Oh, _yeah_. So you ran into Snape. You grabbed a _bite_. Not like he treated you badly or anything, like anything less than you deserve. Not like he hates your boyfriend or anything. Sure, it's all fine. I'm sure of it. I'm not mad at all." He pursed his lips in a vain attempt at a smile, but fire was starting to kindle behind his eyes.

Peter closed his eyes and dropped his head into his hands in fear and defeat.

"Oh, uh, g-great," Lily said, hoping that her dismal attempt at pretending to think that James actually _wasn't_ mad would allow the whole scenario to be washed away, but she knew James too well to know he was too stubborn to let go that easily. After all, she knew deep down that she wasn't going to be able to keep that a secret forever. Deep down, she knew she probably shouldn't have said yes at all. She had just hoped that somewhere, the old friend she had would have been there, but he wasn't the same somehow. Maybe he had never been the person she had thought she knew. Maybe she had always been blinded. After all, he had simply been her first friend, out of circumstance, but maybe not the _right_ friend for her. It had simply taken her a few years to understand how a two-way relationship and friendship _should_ work, and that she deserved decent treatment all the time. Getting food with Snape had not been the ideal conversation she had hoped for. He tried to be pleasant towards her, and after all, he had been the one to invite her, but he really simply was not the same. He had stayed with his Slytherin friends, and it was all too obvious that they would have disapproved of Snape even speaking to her at all. He had become difficult to talk to. In some ways, it was interesting, eating with the friend she hadn't seen in so long and had once been so close to, but that boy didn't exist anymore, if he ever had at all. The moment Snape asked her if she "still associated with _Potter_ ," practically holding himself back from spitting the name, was the moment she realized that she could not ever go back to having the friend she once had. It was not worth it, and it could never be the same anyway. It was nice to have spoken after so long, just to _know_ and be sure, and feel okay that she had given a second chance, but she had come to terms with the fact that she was not going to rekindle any type of intimate friendship or relationship. And she had fully intended on telling James this... _after_ their anniversary. And definitely not on a plane ride. And preferably not in front of Peter. It was a setback that James was mad now, stuck on the airplane, but she did know that he would be mad either way, so she guessed it was best that they were getting it out of the way from the start.

She took his hand, which he accepted, and squeezed it softly, hoping to ease him slightly. She knew he knew they would talk about it again, but he was never one to ignore her entirely while there was any sort of tension between them. She knew he was mad at Snape, and mad at his existence, and mad at the way he had treated Lily and betrayed their friendship, and he was mad that Lily wasn't _more_ mad about it, and that she was always so trusting and hopeful and forgiving. But at the same time, he loved that about her and that she was able to have those qualities. So he resigned to be the one in the relationship to hate everyone for the both of them, because she was too pure to ever hate anyone. He wasn't mad at Lily. He was never mad at Lily. He was mad at a situation that had an upcoming resolution, so he squeezed her hand back. He didn't trust himself to talk much more in the midst of his temper, but he was wholly content that, at the end of it all, he was the one sitting next to Lily and holding her hand on an airplane.

\---

"Okay, everyone, this place is _definitely_ better than London already," Peter said as they got off the place, still trying his best to diffuse the tension he had unintentionally caused. "A woman gave me a coupon for a ninety-nine cent lobster dinner! Er, how much is ninety-nine cents?"

"About 70 pence, give or take," Lily said. "So...roughly two sickles? That's nothing, what kind of coupon is that?"

"Pete, aren't you allergic to shellfish?" James asked.

"Well, yeah, but for two sickles, I'd eat you," Peter said. "Damn, what happened to you two?"

Sirius and Remus finally caught up to them - both were red in the face, looked exhausted, and had large wet spots on their pants.

"Have you...pissed...yourselves?" James asked, unsure what emotion to go with.

"Yes, yes, we both pissed ourselves," Remus said.

"Don't. Ask," Sirius said, and then noticed the tension between Lily and James. "What going on with _you_ two?"

"Just a minor domestic, nothing more," Peter rushed in to say, hoping no blame would be placed on him. In truth, both James and Lily had already forgotten that Peter was the one who had triggered the "domestic" hours ago at the start of the flight.

"Should we be worried?" Remus mouthed to Peter behind James and Lily's back. Peter shook his head ' no,' with hopes that this would pass over as quickly as any discussion regarding Severus Snape ever had. The fact that this one had landed on the very long flight to an anniversary vacation was just an extra unfortunate set back.

"I'm sorry, I can't get over the bloody marks on your trousers," James said, turning back to look at them.

"Trust me," Lily said, "When we get into the city, two grown men who have wet themselves will be a common occurrence. No one will pay you any mind."

"Ah, that's too bad to hear, ain't it, Moony?" Sirius said.

"Really, _truly_ , a travesty, Pads."

"What are you two on about?" Peter asked.

"I am not resting until this entire city has its eyes on Mr. Moony and he dies of embarrassment."

"Unless I cause Mr. Padfoot's death first," Moony explained.

There was a silence following their mediocre explanation.

"You know, I don't think I even _want_ to know how this came about," Lily said.

"Well," Sirius said, "it all started when Moony was serenading me, _in the nude_ , to participate in the _physical act of love_."

Remus blushed and opened his mouth to protest as Lily shoved her fingers into her ears.

" _La, la, la_ , I do not _want_ or _need_ to hear about your sexual winter escapades, and whatever devil games they've turned into."

" _Wait_ , I do!" James protested. "Go on, how did it begin, who initiated, what was Moony singing -"

"Celestina Warbeck."

"-oh, Moony, have more taste than _that_. Who was on top, then?"

"Who do you think?" Sirius winked.

"Oh, Pads, you sly dog, you!"

"Only jokin', Prongs, I can give it _and_ take it. I'm a switch hitter, baby."

" _Okay_ , enough! I didn't _actually_ seduce him!" Remus exclaimed.

"Oh, Merlin, Moony, I'm sorry," Peter said with genuine sympathy in his voice. "It's okay, there are plenty of fish - er, dogs - in the park? You'll find someone to fall for your charms."

" _NO,_ " Remus insisted. "I mean I wasn't trying to seduce anyone in the first place."

There was a silence for the second time.

"...You mean, you were singing Celestina Warbeck in the nude...for the fuckin' shits and giggles of it all?"

"Yes! I mean, _no_! I mean...Please, can we just go to our hotel, now?"

\---

" _Woah,_ " Lily heard the boys say in something of a chorus as they set foot in their hotel which, of course, was initially dominated by a huge casino.

"This is Vegas," she explained, gesturing her arms outward. "Well, a Vegas casino."

"What...are they?" Peter asked, ogling everyone at the slot machines.

"Games, all of them," she answered. "Some are played with cards, and some are on these machines, and they're all gambling."

" _Amazing_ ," James and Sirius said nearly at the same time. It was all right down their ally.

"What's with the waitresses?" Remus asked. They were, after all, rather scantily clad, bringing varieties of drinks to players who didn't even need to leave their gambling seats.

Lily shrugged in response. "I can't say if that's American muggles, or if it's Vegas. Or both. Likely both. It's the adult playground. Make of it what you will. They don't call it Sin City for nothing."

"Ohoho, and sin I shall," Peter responded, rubbing his hands together deviously.

"What side of you is this, Pete?" Remus asked. Peter stood up straight.

"The partying side," Peter replied, as though it were the most innocent and obvious thing in the world.

"I cannot _wait_ to explore Wormtail's party side, _honestly_."

They followed Lily to the check-in counter as best as they were able while being distracted by the mesmerizing machines, and took the elevators up to their rooms.

"Oh, and before I forget, Prongsy, I'm _so sorry_ I failed to mention my sexual escapades with our dearest Moony here. I swear, it will never happen again. Next time, I shall inform you immediately."

"Next time?" Remus muttered, growing pink again. "There needs to be a first time for there to be a next time..."

"That's fine, Padfoot," James replied, slapping a hand down on his friend's shoulder. "Apparently there's a new policy around here where we don't need to _share everything with everybody_."

Lily tried not to noticed James staring at her poignantly. "Oh, I _knew_ you were not okay with that."

"No, really, what happened?" Remus asked once they were all in the elevator. Lily meant to gesture not to bring it up, but Peter, ever so diligent, answered.

"Lily had lunch with Snape."

"As in... _that_ Snape?" Sirius clarified, to which Peter nodded in response.

"Yeah, her _best friend ever,_ " James said.

"It meant _nothing_. Absolutely nothing," Lily attempted to reassure him. "After all this time, how can you not trust me?"

"When you go _lunching_ with certain greasy, racist, sallow gits and don't tell me about it."

Lily pressed her lips together. "...Yeah. Yeah, okay, you're right. I should have told you. I'm sorry."

"...Thanks," James replied sincerely, though with mild surprise, and he hugged her.

"Aww, yeah, there, see? There we go," Sirius said.

"Yeah! I love Vegas!" Peter reassured them for the umpteenth time.

"I _promise you_ , next time, I _absolutely_ will tell you," Lily continued when they pulled apart.

"Ooh," Sirius winced. "She went for the _next time_. Lil, learn from my mistakes."

James put his hands on her shoulders. "N-next time? What _next_ time? When _next_ time? Is there going to _be_ a _next time_? Did you _plan_ a _next time_?"

"It sounds like you want to forbid it."

"I'm not _forbidding_ anything. But I'm not so _keen_ to the idea of a _next time_ being in motion."

"I don't appreciate this attitude you're having about the whole thing," Lily said.

"What attitude? There's no attitude. I hate the guy. That's not attitude."

Lily crossed her arms. "Let's just...get our stuff to our rooms, yeah?"

It wasn't that she _wanted_ a next time - with Severus _or_ anyone else. And she certainly hadn't _planned_ one. But the simple fact that James was so adamantly against it to the point that it sounded like he wanted to control what she did...she was too stubborn to let it pass, even it _was_ their anniversary.

Peter rubbed his temples.

"So close," Sirius mouthed to Remus.

\---

"I can't believe this is how I'm spending my anniversary," James muttered. Lily had dropped off her suitcase and went to find a drink with Sirius and Remus, while Peter sat with James in his and Lily's room, attempting to distract him. He prattled on and on, reading to him from the hotel provided pamphlet that described the events in Vegas and in their particular hotel that night. As much as he tried, he could hardly focus on what Peter was reading. Immediately, he regretted even commenting on the fact that Lily had said _next time_.

"Hey. It's alright, mate," Peter said noticing and tossing the pamphlet to the side, despite wanting to actually try everything it described. "Look, I'll take you somewhere fun. We can explore. On the way from my room to here, some bloke handed me some muggle money. He was playing downstairs and won a ton of money I s'pose and he was handing it out."

"You know what I would do if I won big down there, Wormtail?"

"What's that?"

"Join a fitness center. A brilliant one. _Really_ build up my upper body. I mean, I know I'm fit now, but even more. And then hit Snivellus from behind with a stick."

"I - but - couldn't you just curse him?"

"Mm, not as satisfying, Wormy. Not as satisfying."

"You know what I should do?" Peter asked. "I should go do with that old bloke did. Take this money he gave me and turn it into a fortune myself."

"Ah, er, good luck?"

"I don't need _luck_ , Prongs, I've thought this through," he said.

"I see," he said, unconvinced, as Peter left his room. " _Hey_ , _wait!_ I thought you were using the money to go somewhere fun with me!"

But Peter had already vanished down the hall.

"Traitor," James muttered, and slumped back down on his bed dejectedly.

\---

"This is just...the worst anniversary ever," Lily mumbled, stirring her watered down Cranberry-Vodka with a swizzle stick. The worst anniversary that she now entirely blamed herself for.

"It's not so bad," Remus attempted to reassure her. "So you had a little fight with James. So what? It's only James."

She shot him a look.

"I mean...I'm sorry. Look, you...you don't _really_ want to see Snape again, do you?"

"I don't! That's the worst part. I absolutely don't. In fact, I almost regretting saying yes to him immediately. It was just...awkward, and not only did I feel nothing intimate, I felt...almost nothing at all. We've been apart for too long. And I know he still has... _some_ feelings, but...there's nothing there. Not for me. Not for us. And it's definitely not worth fighting with James over. _That's_ also why I didn't bring it up. It might as well not have even happened."

"Well, you need to tell him that. That's what you should have talked about. Instead, you bring up a next time. You need to go apologize."

"He's not without fault, either, though. He can't control me."

"And he knows that," Remus said. "But Merlin, he's a stag. If you didn't know him well enough yet, I think that about sums it all up. He's bloody proud as all hell, and you know that. It'll be the death of him. The only things stronger than his pride are his fear of losing you, and his fear of Snape being a cause of it. I guarantee you, if you so much as open your mouth to apologize, he'll break at your feet with guilt. But you do have to tell him _exactly_ what this..."lunch" meant to you. Exactly."

"Yeah. Yeah, okay, you're right. You're exactly right. I'll go find him and talk to him then. I'm glad we have you, Remus."

He squeezed her shoulder after sipping at his own drink. "I'm glad I have you all, too. And I'm glad James found you in the first place. Our group wouldn't be quite the same without you. At least he did one smart thing in his life. Now, uh...where...where is Padfoot and what is planning on doing with me next?"

He had been sitting there just moments before, listening quietly to Lily and Remus as he sipped on his own drink, discovering the magic of muggle alcohol. And then he was gone.

Lily shrugged. "I wish you the _best_ of luck with that. I'm going to find James, then."

She got up from the bar leaving money for her drink, and patting Remus on the shoulder as he gazed worriedly into the rest of his drink. She wandered through the hazy, loud casino, like it was a dream world. It was strange how much more unreal the place could feel, even in comparison to real magic. The rows and rows of machines were endless and the scent of smoke and perfume was intoxicating in the strangest way. It was easy to get lost, and suddenly she found that she could not quite recall where the elevator was that she needed to take. Instead, she took a turn, and found where the tables were - dozens of tables, surrounded by people playing a variety of games featuring stacks of cards and chips, run by men and women in black and white.

And suddenly, there he was. A familiar head of perfectly coiffed black hair and a devilish grin, surrounded by a crowd of awe-stricken people.

"S-Sirius?"

"Lil! Come here!"

She pushed her way the front.

"You disappeared on us right quick...what, uh...what are you playing here, exactly?"

She looked down at the table and understood none of it. It was unlike any game she had ever seen before. She could, at the very least, recognize Poker, Black Jack, and a Roulette table, but this was unlike any of those. Whatever it was, Sirius had amassed an unbelievable pile of chips. How he had figured out this game _and_ started doing so well during his brief absence was beyond her, but his success caused her to hardly give it a thought. It took her longer than it should have to realize that he was playing this game against opponents - opponents that were not speaking English - and yet, Sirius seemed to hold his own. The game involved domino-looking tiles, a wheel of fortune, and something that appeared to be the muggle version of an Every Flavor Bean.

"I...can't talk, Lil! But I'm getting lots of money!"

She took his word for it, but she still could not comprehend the game to save her very life. She cheered when he cheered, and watched his pile of chips grow higher and higher despite the fact that he seemed to be doing something different every turn.

Suddenly, she caught another familiar shock of black hair from the corner of her eye, and all at once, her previous mission came flooding back to her. _James_. She meant to go up to her room and apologize to James. How long had she and Sirius been at the table? Half an hour? A full hour? She looked frantically around. _No clocks in Vegas_.

"Hey, Sirius, I'll be back in just a second. Er...don't lose!" she said, squeezing his shoulder gently as he pumped his fist victoriously upon flipping over a few more tiles.

"James? James, where are you going?" she called out to him. He turned immediately.

"I wondered how long it would take you to notice me," he said. It wasn't the first time he had said that sentence either, but she got the feeling that this time, he was referring to this exact moment in time. She winced inwardly. How many times had be walked back and forth just then?

"I'm sorry, I was coming to look for you so I could apologize, and I got lost down here, and then I saw Sirius and...well, you need to see _that_ for yourself, because it's kind of remarkable, and I just got distracted. But I was coming to you, I _swear_." She noticed that he had his suitcase with him. "Where...where are you going with that?"

"What do you think? Going home," he said simply. She had to fight to roll her eyes, though deep down, she did really feel guilty. Even if he was dramatic, she knew she had hurt some part of him.

"James, _please_. I was going to come up and tell you that that lunch meant _nothing_ to me. I regretted accepting the invitation immediately. Six years...after that...it changed things. There was never going to be a next time. I just said that because...I don't know why I said that. You know me. I'm just as stubborn as you are. Look, if you would rather I not see him again, that's fine. I'm fine with not seeing him again either. This is the relationship that is most important to me."

"Lil, I was _there_ for your entire friendship. I witnessed the whole thing, waiting for you to see how much better you deserved. Not that I'm some god or anything, but that doesn't mean I don't think you deserve anything less than perfect, and I want to try to give that to you. You're just too kind. Which is what I love about you, but...well, I saw how much you cared about him regardless of everything. He's your best friend, Lil."

She shrugged and gave him a small smile. "Not...not anymore. I won't deny that we were close, but he made a decision and...I made mine. And that decision is you."

He smiled at her and let go of his suitcase as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly.

"Alright, let's forget this _going home_ stuff and start celebrating our anniversary. _And_ see how Sirius is doing. Really, it's...unlike anything I've ever seen, truly," Lily said when they pulled apart, and she grabbed James' suitcase for him.

"Love...this is empty."

He looked down on it. "...Yeah. I kind of wanted to make a bold scene, but...I wouldn't know how to get home even if I had wanted to."

She giggled and reached up to ruffle his hair before leading him to the table that Sirius was playing at. In the time that Lily and James had spent making up, Sirius had kept his high pile of chips about even, and Remus and Peter had found him as well.

"You two alright?" Peter asked hopefully.

"Alright," Lily replied, subtly squeezing James' hand. "How's our lad doing?"

"Well, he hasn't lost yet," Remus replied, "so I suppose he's doing well, but that's all I can tell you."

Remus, it turned out, could not figure out the game any more than Lily could, and James didn't even know where to turn his eyes first. A droplet of sweat appeared on Sirius' forehead, so it seemed that perhaps there was some level of skill involved rather than the game being pure chance. Peter looked as though he might pop a blood vessel with how tightly his face was screwed up in concentration, as though he was actually trying to figure out some form of rules, but Lily could not imagine where he would even start figuring.

Suddenly, there was a change in game play as the Wheel of Fortune was spun and the eyes of all of the other players turned to Sirius. He looked frantically from his tiles, to his chips, to his stack of cards at his elbow. He lifted a hand to flip a tile when Peter reached out quickly and grabbed his arm.

"Wait! Padfoot...you...you can _double_ your winnings if you split your tiles and find the bean," he said. The crowd was silent.

"Peter, please, what are you talking about?" Lily asked. For one, she hadn't seen a single 'bean' come into play thus far, and for another thing, she couldn't begin to imagine where Peter had started to comprehend what was going on.

"No...no, no, Lil, he's right. He's right."

Sirius took a deep breath and pushed half his tiles forward - which Peter must have meant when he said to split them.

Then, four women appeared, seemingly from nowhere, and each held out their two fists in a row.

"The bean," Peter said. "He has to choose which fist the bean is in."

Evidently it took more focus than would be expected to find a bean in a fist. Sirius stared for what seemed like forever. The women remained patient, standing in their row, but chatter began to pick back up again.

"I'm not ready yet," Sirius said, "but Lily - I bet you _James_ that I'll find the bean."

"You...what do you mean, you bet me _James_? You bet me James _what_?"

"No, that's it. I bet you possession of James. If I find the bean and win, I get to take James for my own. If I screw up, you can keep him."

"But...What if I have full faith that you'll win?" Lily asked. "I don't want to bet James. We can share him."

"Fair enough," he said, and went back to concentrating.

"James," Lily whispered to him when Sirius turned back to the game. "James, can I make a bet with you? Or...a deal?"

"We _are_ in Vegas, and I have yet to gamble anything, so why not?"

"If Sirius...er, _finds the bean_...we get married. Here. This weekend."

"Are you...are you serious, Lil? Can we do that?"

"I mean, sure. It's one of the things Vegas is famous for, quick and easy weddings."

"No, no, I mean...can _we_ do that? Are you ready for something like that? Like, if he does win?"

Lily smiled and grabbed his hands. "Yeah. Yeah, I think so. This little disagreement we had, and the lunch, and...everything, all just made me realize that this is exactly all that I want. So why wait? If he finds the bean, then we can consider it the perfect sign."

James smiled down at her. "Okay. Yes, okay."

She squeezed his hands gently as they turned back to the table.

"Okay, I know where the bean is," Sirius said, full of confidence. There was silence once again. Sirius closed his eyes and his pointed finger went to the second fist in, as though it were guided by some force outside of himself. The woman smiled and turned to fist over to reveal a small, literal bean.

The crowd, the players, Sirius, and James and Lily all stared at the bean in disbelief for what felt like several minutes. And then, Sirius threw both fists in the air with a shout of victory.

"You won!" Remus shouted.

"You won!" Peter repeated, and they both threw their arms around Sirius' middle, nearly knocking the breath out of him as his pile of chips was doubled at his spot.

"He won," James whispered, and pulled Lily into a caring embrace.

\---

Sirius and Remus made it back to their room later that evening, after sharing Sirius's obscene winnings to gamble on other games and order more drinks. Peter had his own single room, but Sirius insisted on buying a room for himself and Remus - especially since Remus couldn't afford it by any means, James had bought his plane ticket, and it was the least Sirius could do after Remus had housed him for the winter. Of course, there was the minor problem of the fact that they were still trying to out-embarrass each other, and their close proximity made it both more difficult and so much easier. Still, Remus was grateful for the generosity, and after Sirius's incredible winnings, it almost would have been insulting if he had not treated somebody to _something_.

"I'm going to shower really quick before we go out again," Sirius said. They had not yet decided if they were going to gamble more, or go to a club, but James had forbidden them all from going to bed. According to him, it was against the law to go to sleep at a normal time in Las Vegas. Whether or not this was true, they had no idea. For all they knew, it could have been a wild American muggle law. Lily didn't contest the statement, though, and Sirius had no objections to partying, so he didn't argue. He was eager, however, to freshen up after being in the centre of a smoky, sweaty crowd during his gambling success, and Remus had gotten exhausted from hearing about his hair complaints.

"I'll just take a little nap while I wait for you," Remus said, up for a fun night, but far more affected by jet lag than the rest of them. As it was, he and Sirius were already decently tipsy. The casino girls brought drink after drink as you sat at your machine, and it was hard not to order a new one every time a girl came around.

Remus was completely out when Sirius emerged from his shower. He paused and watched Remus' body rise and fall softy. He always thought the sight of Remus sleeping was both one of the most serene and most lovely things in the world. In his opinion, Remus was more deserving of sleep than anyone else. His features softened in sleep and you could see just how long his eyelashes were, caressing his cheeks that were turning softly pink from the amount of drinks he had already had. It was such a contrast to the wild and feral part of him that came out once a month, and it made the boy appear even more beautiful in his slumber.

Therefore, it was a shame that Sirius had to do what he was about to do next.

He grabbed a permanent marker from the nightstand and gave Remus' softened face a final look of sympathy and caring before drawing on an artistically masterful and extravagant mustache and goatee.

Remus started twitching gently as Sirius finished up. He slowly opened an eye to see a curtain of black hair hovering over him.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty," he was greeted.

Remus flinched and rolled away.

"What in _Merlin's name_ are you doing?" he practically squealed. Sirius looked down at himself and realized that he did look more suspicious than intended, as he had not yet gotten dressed. Hovering over Remus with a marker (which was terrifyingly wand-like to sleepy eyes), wearing nothing but a towel was admittedly a more alarming scenario than Sirius had planned for. Still, he gestured to the vanity where Remus scurried to examine himself.

"You _drew_ on me?"

"I drew on you."

"Oh, that is so... _juvenile_."

And the beauty of the serene sleeping prince had vanished.

Sirius smirked. "All's fair in love and war."

"Is that what this is? I didn't realize there was love involved here."

"You wound me, Moony. Just wash it off, honestly. But damn, you made it so easy. Never fall asleep during a feud. Or at a party. Or around me. You did, like, all three at once."

"I'm washing it off, I hope you know," Remus cried, making his way into their bathroom. "Complete waste of a turn...I look like bloody Salazar Slytherin..."

"It wasn't a waste. I got to see it at the very least. You must be _so humiliated_ , looking so silly in front of me."

"Oh, yes, I'm completely beside myself. Not like you haven't already seen my- oh, no."

"What's that?"

"It won't come off."

"Whatever, you probably aren't scrubbing hard enough. Use one of those cute little leaf shaped soaps they left us."

"What do you _think_ I'm doing, Padfoot? It _won't come off_."

 _Well, he can't be too mad if he's using my nickname_ , Sirius thought, but the tone of Remus's voice was not pleased by any stretch of the imagination.

"Well, just change, and we'll go out, and maybe you'll sweat it off."

"You're insane, I'm not going out like this."

"Who cares? It's Las Vegas! We passed like, three naked guys on the way up here alone."

"Sirius. I am a _human doodle._ "

Sirius would have lost it had there not been so much anger in Remus's voice, added on to the switch to his real name.

"Okay, fine. But what do you propose we do then?"

"I want you to call the company that made this marker and ask them how to get it the hell off, that's what I want."

"C-call?"

"Well, yes, what else? We can't send them a bloody owl, can we? Look, there's a telephone right there. I bet the marker has contact information on it."

"Remus, I've never used a muggle phone before."

"Lily showed me once in Muggle Studies. It's not that difficult, I'll show you. But you have to do it. Or I'm never leaving this room. If I'm lucky, you'll screw it up the first few times and humiliate yourself in the process."

"Thanks, doll."

Remus winked at him, still annoyed with the pen on his face, but finding it nearly impossible to stay upset with Sirius for any extended length of time.

Sirius dialed the way Remus taught him after they found the contact information they needed, and he waited nervously on the line.

“Yes, hello,” he said finally, evidently have gotten a hold of someone. “Yeah, so...I drew on my, um, friend's face with you pen...it was facial hair. Ah, thank you, I thought so, too...He did not, no. So, how do we get it off? No, soap and water didn't get it off...Oh, okay. Okay, yes. Thank you! Alright, bye now.”

He hung up the phone as Remus looked at him expectantly.

“So...? How does it come off?”

“Yeah...it doesn't.”

Remus' eyes widened. “Are you shitting me?”

“I...nope, no shitting of you is being done here.”

Remus exhaled deeply and ran his hands through his hair. “Okay. Okay, fine then. I'm not going out then. Fine by me. I need a drink.”

He made his way to the fully stocked mini-fridge and pulled out a bottle of vodka.

“Hey, you know, that stuff isn't included in the price of the room. And they really overcharge you for it,” Sirius said.

Remus glared at him, all the annoyance in the world written all over his face.

“But, uh, who cares, right?” he continued. “Because it's all on me. Because I owe it to my friend, Remus. Because I desecrated his face...right?”

“Right.”

“Right...”

Sirius took it that the war of embarrassment had ended and they had started up a whole new kind of war. Remus continued to pull bottles and bottles out of the fridge, including small travel-sized tequilas and various wines. Sirius did his best not to cringe as a mountain of booze began to form itself on his bed.

Moving on from the fridge, Remus picked up an unopened jar of macadamia nuts beside the fridge and tore them open, just as Sirius grabbed for the price list.

“Th-that's...an expensive nut.”

“Yup,” Remus confirmed, popping 3 in his mouth.

“You...really like those macadamia nuts, don't you?”

Remus provided half a smirk, not having yet swallowed them. “Nope,” he replied, and spit them all out in succession at Sirius.

“Oh...Okay, yeah, I deserved that.”

Remus put the jar of nuts away, seeing as he was serious about not liking the taste of them, and threw back the entirety of a travel tequila.

“So...you're really not going back out again, then?” Sirius asked warily, knowing the answer already. He ran his fingers through his still wet hair, which still fell effortlessly into place, even right out of the shower.

“I'm really not.”

“Then...I suppose I'm not either,” Sirius said. “I'm not abandoning you.”

He ran his hands through his hair again, and Remus knew he was mostly upset about not being able to show himself (and his locks) off to America.

“Come on then, pop open a bottle. We got a lot of work to do if we're going to make it as fun in here as it is out there. And you _are_ going to do that.”

Sirius sighed, but obliged, grabbing a beer, and crossing both his fingers and toes that the marker would be magically removed by morning.

  
\---

“Hit me,” Remus slurred out for the 40th time in a row. Sirius had convinced him that they could bring Vegas to their room, but somewhere between drinks ten and eleven, they had both forgotten the rules of Blackjack, and Remus' count was well over 21 and into the hundreds.

Sirius threw down the final card in the deck, added to the pile of empty bottles, hearts, and diamonds.

“We nee' more cards,” Sirius said.

“We need more drinks too,” Remus replied, attempting to retrieve the final drops from the bottom of a bottle. “Hol' on a sec'nd.”

He scrambled up from the floor where they were playing and sloppily grabbed the phone that Sirius had used earlier to call the pen company.

“Yeah, hullo, Vegas,” Remus said into the receiver. “We, uh, need more of your alcohol, and also, more beers.”

Sirius nodded in full support, until Remus threw the phone down and fell back onto the bed laughing.

“I forgot – to dial – the number,” he gasped between laughs, and Sirius fell down on the bed next to him laughing just as hard, despite having already forgotten how a muggle phone was supposed to work. He was mostly entertained by Remus' rollicking body, shaking and turning red with laughter, until they were interrupted by a knock at their hotel door.

“Oh – that must be our alcohol and beers,” Sirius said, halting his laughter immediately and going to answer it.

“Hey -”

“ _Hey_ , it's Pete!” Sirius exclaimed, cutting off their friend at the door and pulling him into a tight embrace.

“Wormtail!” Remus shouted excitedly, rolling rather ungracefully off the bed. “Oh, I _love_ Wormtail. Oh, oh, he turns into a _rat_. Isn't that cool, Pads?”

Sirius turned his head back and nodded in enthusiastic agreement before Peter turned his has back to face him again.

“Listen, guys, I need your help. I've been practicing how to count cards, but I need people to help me fill up a table so I can really put it into practice. I think if we're careful, I could really make out with a lot a money. What do you say?”

“Oh, sure, mate,” Sirius replied sincerely. “Whatever you need me to do, _I_ am here for _you_.” He leaned back to sit down coolly, but as there was no chair behind him, he promptly collapsed with a bang to the ground.

“Woah, woah there, Wormtail, are you okay?” he asked from the floor.

Peter's already small eyes squinted even further. “I'm...fine. Yeah, okay, you're not going to be any help.”

He turned to leave, paused, and then turned back to Remus experimentally.

“Hey, baby...You're looking well fit,” he said in as sultry a voice as he could muster.

“Well, hey, baby, you're not lookin' so bad yerself,” Remus replied cheekily with what appeared to be a completely unironic wink.

“Right,” Peter replied with half a grin. “ _Sirius_ , don't let him drink anymore!”

He turned and shut the door behind him, leaving Sirius and Remus to immediately start laughing about the phone again.

“H-hey, look, I found the macadamia nut,” Sirius half-chuckled from where he still sat on the floor. He popped what he had found in his mouth, only to spit it back out immediately after. “Nope. No, that was somethin' else.”

Remus chuckled at his expense, remembering that the same nut had been in his mouth not long before, and Sirius put it into his mouth thinking that that's what it was.

“So, what d'you wanna do now?” he asked, looking at the used up cards and bottles.

“I wanna go _out,_ ” Sirius whined. “I wanna get out of this _room._ I miss _downstairs_.”

“Padfoot, there is only one way I am leaving this room.”

They made it down to the casino not fifteen minutes later with Sirius sporting newly drawn on whiskers and his own name written in capital letters across is forehead.

\---

“Remind me what we need again?” James asked.

“Something _old,_ something _new_ , something _borrowed_ , and something _blue_ ,” Lily answered as they walked hand-in-hand into the gift shop.

“Okay, well, uh...oh! Here! This is new _and_ blue,” he said, grabbing a blue Las Vegas souvenir sweatshirt from a display table. “Okay, let's go.”

“ _No,_ we still need old and borrowed.”

“I don't think we can find either in a gift shop... _wait._ There's a condom in my wallet I've had since I was like, thirteen. That's old.”

“That'll work!” Lily said, throwing her hands up.

“Mm, I don't think so,” James muttered.

“But what about borrow?”

They looked around carefully, not seeing anything in the shop that could easily be borrowed, nor anyone they could borrow anything from.

“Um, here!” James said, shoving the blue sweatshirt back at Lily. “Stuff this under your dress.”

“We can't _nick_ it.”

“We aren't _nicking it._ We're _borrowing_ it, and we'll bring it back when we're finished.”

Lily shrugged and did as he said, rolling up the sweatshirt smoothly and placing it under her dress in the form of a baby bump.

“...Oh,” she said finally, rubbing at the bump affectionately.

“O _kay_ , one thing at a time, honey,” James said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and leading her out of the shop.

They took off running for the nearest chapel before realizing they had no idea where to find one. Eventually, they resorted to asking random people wandering around the strip until they were finally directed to a rather popular one which actually looked rather chapel-like from the outside, or, at least like a prop of a chapel.

“We'd like one wedding please,” Lily said excitedly to the woman at the receptionist's desk inside. She had since put the sweatshirt on over the dress she had been wearing, which made her look much less like a bride than she had with it shoved under the dress.

“Will that be for here or to go?” the receptionist joked, eliciting no response except from confusion from the couple. “You two are fun, aren't you? Go have a seat over there. There's a wedding already in progress.”

They shrugged and took a seat at a waiting bench the woman was pointing to. Sounds of a wedding march could be heard from inside, indicating that the previous wedding was likely ending.

“Does that make you nervous?” Lily whispered to James. “The music. I mean, we're getting _married_. Right now!”

He smiled gently at her. “Not at all,” he said, squeezing her hand lovingly. “Actually, I've never felt so calm and sure about anything in my life.”

Just then, the couple that had evidently just gotten married threw the doors open, laughing very hard.

“I guess they got a funny wedding,” Lily mumbled just before realizing who the happy couple was.

It was Sirius and Remus that stumbled out from the chapel hall. Remus was holding a white bouquet in one hand, and Sirius wore a crown and veil that Lily recognized from a vendor they passed selling bachelorette themed souvenirs.

“Well, _hello,_ Mrs. Sirius Lupin!” Remus sang happily, throwing a shower of rice over Sirius.

“Why, _hello_ , Mrs. Remus Black!” Sirius mimicked, throwing his own rice over Remus.

Remus jumped up and Sirius caught him, carrying him bridal style out of the chapel, neither of them noticing James and Lily sitting in the waiting section. They turned to each other slowly as Lily raised a hand to her mouth.

“Was that...?” she said, muffled behind her hand.

James did nothing but nod slowly, slack-jawed and staring at the ground.

\---

Remus woke up in his own hotel bed the next afternoon to an excruciatingly painful headache. He squinted, despising the light streaming in through the open hotel room window, and looked around at the state the room was in. He couldn't even give himself an estimate of how many various bottles of alcohol there were strewn about, and based on the variety, he was willing to bet that he had been very sick the night before, even if he didn't recall.

“Oh...,” he groaned, lamenting his headache, the sight of the room, and the fact that he couldn't remember _anything._ He was grateful, at least, that he was in his own bed.

“ _Oh_ ,” he groaned louder, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror by the bed. He was still adorned with a worn, yet noticeable, black beard and mustache. He tried rubbing at it in vain once again, until a heavy movement and rustling next to him caused him to jump and scream. Turning and noticing that there was a second body in his bed, he screamed even louder.

“Oh, oh, ow,” Remus mumbled quickly, immediately regretting the screams and clutching at his pained head. The person next to him apparently didn't take the loud noise well either as his hands shot to his own head.

Remus turned his head slowly to see a confused Sirius looking at him, eyes squinting just as intensely. Well, at least it wasn't a stranger.

“Why...why are we in bed together?” Sirius asked carefully, as though each word caused him pain. In fact, it likely did, and Remus was almost afraid to speak, knowing how much focus it was going to need to make a sentence with that intense of a hangover.

“I...don't...know,” Remus replied slowly, but honestly. “Do...do you have any clothes on?”

Sirius took a moment to feel around under the covers. “Yes,” he replied finally.

“...Really?” Remus replied, genuinely surprised.

“...No.”

Remus groaned again, realizing that although he had on a loose tank-top, he, too, was definitely bare from the waist down, however that had happened.

“I mean, we didn't...we didn't have...s...ex...did we?” Sirius muttered. It was more of a question to himself than to Remus. Remus didn't answer anyway. He was fixated on a spot on the bed's comforter.

“I...I remember laughing,” he said finally. “I laughed _a lot_. I think we both did. Something must have been _really_ funny...Merlin, we were _really_ drunk. I'm glad we didn't do anything _stupid_.”

“Yeah, honestly,” Sirius agreed with a single laugh, rolling out of bed to head to the bathroom, not seeming to care that he was still unclothed.

Remus missed his naked body anyway though, as well as the words _Just Married_ written in pen on his back, because he was busy staring at his wand on his nightstand, realizing immediately that magic would have removed the pen on his face from the very beginning, saving him the headache and whatever had been endured the night before.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Stay tuned for the fic of James getting lost in the Tube and ending up in France.
> 
> Also, to see how this whole wedding business sorting itself out.
> 
> Or just lets us know what else you want to see explored.


End file.
